Howdy. Welcome to Dog’s Breakfast. I’m Matt. The purpose of this blog is to connect. Well, yes, that’s the big picture, as in connecting in a communal way. You know, the deal where I’m sitting on my bloggy porch, with my wife, and you walk by.

“Howdy neighbor,” I call out.
“How you doing, Mister Bowes?” you say.
“I’m just dandy, _______* Reader, and yourself?”
“Fine , fine,” you might reply.

* Ms., Mr., Master, Mrs., Miss, Decline to State. Fill it in with whatever you are at the moment.

Then we will discuss the weather. But weather is one of those surface topics when you don’t want to be emotionally involved with someone. Strangers can talk about it. It’s trite. So maybe we talk about stuff that’s more deep than that.

We can converse about writing, if you want. I’m constantly struggling to take good advice and put it in practice, and while I might emotionally connect with you, I’m not sure my writing meets the criteria for, say, selling to the unsuspecting and fickle public. I’ve got a manuscript or two that are in progress, and I’ll relate my struggles with issues and maybe you can chime in with something useful, like “Hey. Show, don’t tell.”

No, wait. Don’t say that. It’s the reason we can’t have nice things.

Writers are fickle. “It’s awesome!” we shout. Then we look around, and when no one agrees, we start to wonder. “Maybe it’s not? Maybe it’s terrible. And no one is saying anything.” Then we get miserable and drink like Hemingway without any of the commercial success and die of cirrhosis. (Thanks, spell check!)

It is my hope that what you read here helps you decide that you’d like to help me out and give my novel a read when it finally publishes.

Plus there’s all the other stuff about me that you’ll want to know. It’s that If you Give a Mouse a Cookie sort of ADD stickiness: If you read one thing, maybe you’ll read another, and then you’ll think, “why, Matt is a pretty good guy. He and I don’t always see eye to eye, but he’s always polite and sincere and pleasant. And funny. He’s very funny.”

Yes, I hope that I meet the polite, sincere, pleasant standard.

As an added bonus, you get access to my external processing, where I talk about the Guts of Writing. That’s the nice way of categorizing all the crud that’s pertinent to me about how you construct a good story that people will like to read. Some of it is frying pan obvious, but if you haven’t been hit by that particular frying pan yet, it’s not so obvious.

My Opponent? Old age and death and mediocrity. I don’t want to write crap. Does anyone ever sit down and think, “Why, I’ll churn out 4000 words of complete and utter excrement today!”? That’s what happens, anyway. We may read unfiltered writing here, but the thing for which you pay your hard-earned money will have a professional editor between you and me. Because collaboration. That’s why. It’ll be worth your time.

Thanks for stopping by. All you readers, settle in and make yourself comfortable.

Postscript: A dog’s breakfast is an English term for something that is awful or messy or only fit to feed to the dog. Self-deprecating humour, that. While I have a higher opinion of my writing than that, it’s a better name than “This Blog is Better than Yours,” which for some reason sounds snotty.

Things you’ll find here:

writers books
writers writing
Steps to writing a book
How to write a story
How to write a novel
Epublish a book
Amazon e publishing
Publish ebook amazon
Writing my novel


39 thoughts on “About

  1. Congrats on deciding to be a writer! But you are supposed to write 4k words of crap so you can rewrite and edit them later. It’s all about productivity and of course, quality.
    Welcome to WP!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Matt! It’s nice to meet you. Thank you for visiting and following my blog. Come by anytime and stay a while––maybe read one of my short stories. 😉 You have a great blog and I am following you as well. Looking forward to reading some of your posts. 😀


  3. It’s true. You woke up and found yourself in Uncle Bardie Country. Now that you have followed Uncle Bardie, you may find yourself at that fork in the road that have to take. With Uncle Bardie for a guide, you can be comforted that you may stub your toe on a pun, find you can’t resist laughing at those things you never thought funny and wake up to wonder what Uncle Bardie will post next. It’s okay. That itch can be scratched by simply tuning into the next Post, It could very well be a doozy or not. Either way it will be coming from the whacky mind of Uncle Bardie. So thanks for following Uncle Bardie’s Stories & Such. It beats bananas any day. Unless…but that’s a whole ‘nother thang.


    • I think the phrase originated in the 19th century. It denotes something very good. I used it because it sounded Southern to me. I am not Southern, so I could be horrifically wrong and now just offended the 12 literate people in Arkansas.

      (And I just offended everyone else in Arkansas, as well. All in fun, Arkansas, all in fun. We know there’s probably at least twenty literate people there. Maybe twenty-one.)

      [Which is to say someone will now direct my attention to the literacy charts demonstrating that Arkansasians–Arkansawians? Arkansians? What the ____ do you call these people?–Demonstrating the people from Arkansas have a better literacy rate than the poor schlubs from California. I’ll grant you that. The school systems here are a MESS. I’m just glad that throwing money at it totally solves all the problems.]


  4. Hi thanks for the follow – I haven’t been very active on line lately since we’re packing up to emigrate which is exciting but also a bit scary! Writing a bit on hold as a result. You vising reminds me I haven’t blogged my weekly instalment of Rats – my novel tha tis still under construction. Writing is fun though and blogging is a great way to connect – I love being part of the community – will be taking my evening consitutional with dog past your place!


    • Awright. Be careful with the dog and the lawn… we replaced it with cactus and fido might get stuck if he isn’t real careful.

      And you know the drill on writing. If you stop, you don’t finish it. I look forward to reading it.


  5. Thanks for following my blog, I always like to read what writers have to say. I can’t tell (yet) if you are pleasant, or always polite, but you sound sincere and certainly are funny. 🙂


  6. Still speaking implies there was a conversation to begin with. I’m not sure if there’s any one from Arkansas here, but I am sure that they will make themselves known. Or, they’ll simply unsubscribe.


  7. Hello Matt! Thanks for your visit and follow. I like your humor, now let’s see if I like what you write. I’ll follow to read mire. Never been to Arkansas, but you’ve got the lingo down pat. Yep, you probably are a good writer. I’ll come back! Christine


  8. Christine, welcome. Hit the three line button on the far left. <—— right over there.

    I blame the template. I can't find one that does what I want.


  9. Thanks for following Life of Dude! You’re about page is awesome (plum name – hehe) and I look forward to reading your blog.


  10. Wise words, Laurence. There does seem to be a much more pro-active and positive approach to new writing initiatives in theatre than in TV (and film) – and it pays dividends. Audiences respond to the quality of the new work thy&r#8217;ee being offered. Without wishing to sing my own praises unduly (!), I think I can say I write this from a position of strength as I run one of the very few TV new writing initiatives – the Channel 4 screenwriting course, which will soon be open for new entires for 2012 – watch this space…


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